February 2012
413 posts
Apparently my boyfriend half expects me to kill myself. So why don’t I just do it?
I am looking for something!
There is a picture on tumblr that often floats around, however, I cannot find it and it’s driving me NUTS!
It’s a list, of different ways to kill yourself and the amount of pain it would bring. It’s really annoying me. Can someone please send me a link to it?
It’s for my psych session tomorrow, I told Andrew about this list and now he wants to see it >.<
Random Journal Entry
Just picking a random entry out of my journal and putting it up here. Because I feel like it, so fuck you all if you don’t like it.
Monday 30th January 2012
Glass doesn’t cut as well as my knives did. I am totally unsatisfied.
Message from Aaron, “I hope I die at some point tonight!”
Fuck it. I’m looking for his knives.
Aaandddd, I can’t find them.
...
Anonymous asked: i would care if you died, dont kill yourself
It's raining today. Rain gives me bad moods,...
Anonymous asked: Oh yes I understand thankyou, sorry for making you bring that up, take care beautiful x
Anonymous asked: Ok sorry, just really dont understand the marker situation, hope you're okay anyway sweetheart
Anonymous asked: no sorry im still confused?
Anonymous asked: how do you use makers? I dont understand
Psych yesterday
Andrew: *reading through my journal*
Andrew: I didn't know you were using markers when you purge..
Me: Err....
Andrew: You know a lot more about purging than I thought you did.
Me: *smiles*
More blood. Every time I throw up. It’s hard to keep food down, and my chest hurts. Breathing deeply, yawning, coughing, even laughing, it hurts.
Happy face, happy face, happy face.
It’s time for uni now >:(
Purging bright red again, with the taste of blood in my mouth afterwards..
I’m not sure what to do….
Anonymous asked: What a dick ass teacher. Damn, really got what he deserved.
Memories came back to me last night.
When I was 15 I was cutting my wrists. A teacher of mine saw my wrists, covered in bloody bandaids, looked at me with complete disgust and said ‘surely you aren’t desperate enough for that’ is a sarcastic tone.
He did nothing about what he saw, or about the fact that I was completely honest when I told him I cut myself. Not. A. Thing. When I guess at that point I was hoping for...
Psych appointment on Monday, and I’m absolutely dreading it already after what happened on Wednesday.
I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go.
I purge until I can purge no more. Everything that comes up is blood red, I am unsure if it is blood, or sweet chilli sauce….I know it’s too red to be the sauce, but I tell I myself it is. I ignore it, and continue until all that comes out is the acidic bile of my stomach that burns my throat so horribly.
